Happy 2020, beauties! Hope everyone had a safe and fun New Years! I spent mine in Florida with friends and family. It was just what I needed to kickstart my 2020 with a bang! In the spirit of a new year (and fresh start) Nicholle and I thought it would be fitting to create a post on how to get over your ex (for good!) and get back to your old (fabulous) self! Nicholle and I both went through a breakup of sorts at the end of last year. We used this as the perfect opportunity to chronicle the steps we took (and continue to take!) to get over our breakups. Whether you’re the one initiating a breakup, being broken up with or “it’s mutual” it can all sting just the same. If you’re feeling confused, crushed, or downright pissed… you’ve come to the right place! Everyone handles breakups differently, but I’m sharing the exact steps I took to heal from my breakup. Let’s get you back to your best self, girlfriend!
How To Get Over A Breakup Fast
Get rid of their stuff
And I mean immediately. Their stuff has no place in your living space anymore. Grab a garbage bag/ box and quickly toss all their stuff in it. Put it out of plain sight until you give it back. If you have any memories together (pictures, gifts etc.) put them in a box and stowed away in your closet. You can always keep these memories – you just don’t need them in your face right now.
Delete photos in your phone
Get rid of them. Send them right to your trash can. If you think you may want them in the future – import them to your external hard drive and delete them off your phone. Out of sight out of mind. Are you sensing a theme?
Cut off all communication
Going cold turkey with an ex is crucial to your healing process. Once you’ve broken up (and given their stuff back *cringe*) its time for the blocking to commence. Block their phone number. Block them on all forms of social media. Why block and not “unfriend”? Because I know you’ll be tempted to “check in” on them. Don’t do it. Worried you’ll offend them? Don’t. This isn’t about them – it’s about you. They can handle it.
Unfriend their friends & family on social media
This one may sting on both ends. But you don’t need photos of your ex popping up unexpectedly looking happy as ever. At the very least – hide their posts from your timeline or “mute” them on Instagram.
Reach out to your support system
Whether you’re the kind of girl that keeps pain to herself or needs to word vomit all over your loved ones – I urge you to tell contact at least one person. It can be a family member, friend, co-worker. Someone you trust. Let them know what happened and that you nay need support during this time. Let them know how they can help (just listening on the phone, a distracting girls night out, sob fest with junk food). You deserve to feel loved by someone at this time.
Write down all the things you dislike about your ex
While your memory is still fresh – write down all the things you dislike about your ex. Write down why you’re not compatible. Write down things they did that hurt you. Write down things they said that stung. Keep this list in your phone. Re-read it when you’re tempted to reach out to them or when you’re questioning the breakup.
If you’ve never seen a therapist GIRLFRIEND WHY NOT! Literally the best gift you could ever give yourself. Don’t let your pride get in the way. Chances are your insurance covers it – and if it doesn’t I assure you it’s WORTH EVERY PENNY. They help you uncover what happened, why you’re feeling the way you do, and how to avoid dating the same type of person in the future.
Let yourself feel all the feels
Feeling sad? Cry it out. Feeling mad? Sign up for a kickboxing class. Allow yourself to feel every emotion that hits you. Feel it like a wave crashing into you. And then feel it leave your body. It’s important you get all the feels out.
Be good to your body
Eat healthy. Drink water. Bathe. Go for a walk. Get some rest. Do all the things your mom would tell you to do. Give to your body. Even when it seems impossible. Staying in good health is crucial to healing your mind.
Get back to your old habits
What did you do before your relationship? It’s time to get back into your normal routine. Fill the time you’d spend with them with feel good hobbies. Don’t have any? Make some! Sign up for a spin class, taking painting classes, join a community. Fill your schedule – but make sure to pencil in some “me time”.
Make a list (or five)
Make a list of what you’re grateful for. Make a list of things you love about yourself. Make a list of things you learned from your last relationship. Make a list of things you’ll never settle for again. Make a list of to-dos. It’s time to look onward and upward.
Start dreaming again
Entering back into the dating scene can take time. But a girl can dream. Envision the type of man (or woman) you want. Write down qualities you want in a man. Write down three columns, – wants, needs, non-negotiables. These are 3 very different categories. Sure – this girl wants a 6’4 man – but someone who wants marriage and children is non-negotiable. This is the time to prioritize what type of person you’re looking for.