How To Boost Self-Confidence After A Toxic Relationship

Today I’m sharing tips to up your self confidence. Because you’re a superstar!

Turns out y’all love getting real. After receiving an overwhelming amount of support from my previous “Let’s Talk” post , I’ve decided I want to publish more posts on tough subjects. Growing up, one of my favorite book series was Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul (did anyone else read those?!). After grabbing the latest edition, I would quickly skip to the “tough stuff” section, with all the “taboo” subjects no one wanted to talk about in real life. Depression, eating disorders, death and bullying were among the wide range of subjects discussed. At such a vulnerable age, I remember feeling “okay, maybe I’m not alone”. I remember thinking finally someone wants to talk about it. Problem was, Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul was a collection of entries submitted anonymously or as “Jane H. from Ohio”. It was hard to connect with what felt like fictional authors. I wanted to know who these authors were. Where did they live? What did they look like? I craved that real-life factor.

Fast forward 10 years and I want to be that girl who is brave enough to talk about the tough stuff – with her name attached. I’m not ashamed to admit I’m human, I’m flawed and that I experience the same pain you do. I want to talk about it! So let’s talk.

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Today I want to touch on self-confidence, or lack thereof. With media shoving the “perfect” body, the “perfect” relationship, the “perfect” job, the “perfect” house down our throats  – it’s easy to feel like you don’t measure up. Additionally, scrolling through social media accounts can make you feel isolated. When all we see is everyone’s’ highlight reel, it can feel like everyone else is living their best life. It’s important to remember no one wants to document the hard times. No one wants to publish a photo of them experiencing a panic attack or from the day they find out a loved one has cancer. Everyone experiences hard times, everyone. Don’t let social media fool you. If you’re going through a particularly rough time, avoid social media altogether. I’ve done it before and don’t worry, it will be there when you’re ready.

If I’m being honest, my confidence took a total nosedive last year. Recovering from a toxic relationship left me feeling emotionally devastated, unlovable and unworthy. So how did I get through it? I started making small changes to bring me back to life. A tarnished self-confidence can be remedied in small ways. It’s all about doing things that make you feel good on the inside. It may sound silly, but for me wearing a killer pair of heels instantly improved my mood and overall self-confidence. Why? Because they make me feel f*ing fabulous. It’s a small and simple way to make me feel like a rock star, even for just a few hours. Obviously, heels alone didn’t make me love myself again. It was a combination of support and a lot of hard work. But the small, simple things ended up making a big difference. Like switching up flats with a pair of heels. So if you see me wearing a pair of heels – it’s me treating myself to an extra 4″ (not that I need it at 5’10) and a dose of self love.

Find out what makes you feel fabulous – and treat yo’ self to it. Maybe it’s a monthly pedicure, an episode (0r 10) of the Office, or a talk with one of your best friends. Whatever it is, do it. The small things add up. Make time for yourself, you fabulous fox you!

Side note: I’ve probably watched the Office beginning to end 4 times in this past year. That’s some healing stuff right there.