What I’ve Learned After 3 Years Of Marriage

It’s surreal to think Zach and I have been together for 6 years and married for 3! Best decision of my life. Marriage truly is a blessing and I can say for the first time in my life I’m in a healthy relationship with someone who puts me before everything. All the tears and breakups were worth it to find him. While no marriage is ever perfect – I thought I’d share a couple learning points on how we continue to have a healthy partnership and marriage.

Nip A Fight In The Bud

My philosophy in this relationship has been to tell Zach if I’m feeling annoyed/upset immediately. In a gentle way. I used to bottle up my emotions from tiny upsets in my past relationships and it would unavoidably turn into a bigger deal. Now I can voice my feelings, feel heard and move on immediately. It is a breath of fresh air.

‘Do You Want Advice Or Comfort?’

Your partner is your safe space. I find myself going to Zach with my biggest feelings. Zach, being a problem solver is always quick to help me come up with a solution to my problems. But here’s the thing. Most of the time I’m looking for emotional support and comfort. Problem solving can seem insensitive to me at the time. I just want to feel heard. So now, when I go to Zach he asks me ‘do you want advice or comfort’. That way we are both on the same page and he knows how to show up for me.

Support Your Partner’s Hobbies

We all have hobbies and it’s so important to continue them during a marriage/long term relationship. Zach enjoys playing baseball and I enjoy my girls nights. We make these hobbies a priority to give to ourselves and be a better partner/parent.

Marriage Is The Foundation Of A Family

While preparing for our son Maverick’s arrival we did a few couples therapy sessions (highly recommend) and the main takeaway I got is marriage truly the foundation of a marriage. If the marriage isn’t given the proper care, the entire family will feel it. Zach and I are intentional about our time together. When he works from home we have lunch together the two of us. We also get dressed up and go on a date every month (thanks to our amazing parents caring for Maverick!). Our date is a time we can be carefree, flirt and give each other one-on-one attention (no phones allowed!).